What to do when someone dies
We are sorry you are here. This page tells you who to call first and what can wait. You do not have to decide everything today.
The short version. First, get the death officially pronounced: call the hospice nurse if there is one, call 911 if the death was unexpected, or let hospital staff handle it. Then choose a funeral home to bring your loved one into their care. Everything else, including the memorial, the urn and most paperwork, can wait.
At home, with hospice
Call the hospice’s 24-hour number, not 911. A nurse will come, pronounce the death and tell you what happens next. There is no rush. Many families sit with the person for a while first.
At home, unexpected
Call 911. Tell the dispatcher if there is a do-not-resuscitate order. Police or a medical examiner may attend. That is routine for an unattended death and does not mean anything is wrong.
In a hospital or care home
Staff pronounce the death and will ask which funeral home to call. You can ask how long your loved one may stay. It is often several hours or longer, which gives you time to make calls.
The first day, in order
Have the death pronounced
Use the box above that matches where the death happened. A funeral home cannot bring someone into its care until this is done.
Tell the people who need to know now
Close family first. Ask one person to make the other calls for you. Look for written wishes: a will, preplanning paperwork, or a note about cremation or burial.
Choose a funeral home
You usually have a few hours. Search your city, or call two or three local funeral homes with the five questions. They must give you prices by phone.
The funeral home brings your loved one into its care
They will ask for a name, the location, and a contact number. Tell them about any pacemaker or implanted device. These are removed before cremation.
Sign the authorization
The legal next of kin signs a cremation authorization. Many funeral homes can do this by phone and email. The cremation itself usually happens some days later, after permits are issued.
What the funeral home will ask you for
These details go on the death certificate. If you do not know one, say so. It can be filled in later.
- Full legal name, and any other names used
- Date and place of birth
- Social Security number
- Home address and marital status
- Spouse’s name, and parents’ names including mother’s maiden name
- Usual occupation and highest level of schooling
- Military service, with discharge papers (DD-214) if you can find them
Who can authorize a cremation? State law sets the order. It usually starts with a person the deceased named in writing, then the spouse, then adult children, then parents, then siblings. When several people share the same rank, such as three adult children, many states need a majority or all of them to sign. Ask the funeral home what your state requires.
What can wait
Grief makes everything feel urgent. Very little of it is.
The memorial or service
With direct cremation you can gather in a week, a month or next summer. Nothing has to be planned before the cremation.
The urn
Ashes are returned in a simple container. You can choose an urn later, from anywhere. A funeral home must accept one you buy elsewhere.
Accounts, bills and belongings
Banks, insurers and pension offices will need a death certificate, which takes days to arrive. Start that list next week.
The first week
- Order certified death certificates. The funeral home orders them for you. Many families need five to ten. Who asks for one
- Social Security. The funeral home normally reports the death. If the person received benefits, a payment made for the month of death usually has to be returned.
- Employer, pension and life insurance. Ask each what they need to start a claim.
- Secure the home, the car and any pets. Forward the mail if the home is empty.
- Wait before closing accounts. An executor or the court may need them open to settle the estate.
If money is a worry
Say so when you call. A good funeral director hears this every week and will tell you the least expensive way to do what you need.
- Direct cremation is the least expensive arrangement most funeral homes offer.
- Social Security pays a one-time $255 death payment to an eligible spouse or child.
- Veterans may qualify for a burial allowance and a free place in a national cemetery, including for cremated remains.
- Many counties have help for families who cannot pay.
Questions families ask in the first hours
How quickly do I have to choose a funeral home?
Usually within a few hours, not minutes. A hospital or care home can normally keep your loved one for a while, and a hospice nurse will wait with you at home. Ask the staff how long you have, then use that time to make two or three phone calls.
Can I change funeral homes after one has already collected my loved one?
Yes. You can move to another funeral home. The first one may charge for the transfer and care it has already provided, so ask what that amount would be before deciding.
How long does a cremation take from start to finish?
Commonly one to two weeks from the death to the return of the ashes. Most of that time is paperwork: the doctor or medical examiner signs the death certificate, the permit is issued, and many states require a waiting period of 24 to 48 hours. The cremation itself takes a few hours. What affects the timing
Do I have to buy a casket for a cremation?
No. Federal rules require any funeral home offering direct cremation to make a simple alternative container available, and to tell you so.
What if the death happened away from home, in another state?
It is usually simplest and least expensive to use a funeral home where the death occurred and have the ashes brought or mailed home. Moving a body between states adds transport and paperwork costs. Call a funeral home near the place of death first.
Does CremationMatch arrange any of this?
No. We are a directory. The funeral home you choose does all of it, and you deal with them directly.
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Requirements differ by state and county, and your funeral director can tell you exactly what applies where you live. If you are struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is free and open all hours: call or text 988.